Ethan's Testimony
Year 3, Medicine
Monash University, Melbourne
I’m blessed to have been able to grow close to Jesus since young. Growing up in a family that was active in our small evangelical church, I was taught the importance of loving Jesus and having a relationship with God. ‘The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing,’ was something that I heard often; the main thing being a relationship to God. So, I grew up with that mentality: that having a simple faith in God was enough, and that almost all questions could be answered by ‘having more faith’. This is true to some extent, but I found myself having a lot of doubts and unanswerable questions as I matured. But that was not the ‘main thing’. I kept up my relationship with God by trying my best to seek him in music, ministry and community. While there were ups and downs, I tried to keep as close to God as possible.
Going to study overseas, I was conscious of establishing a firm base for my faith. I found a small church that I liked, attended a cell group and was even looking at cell group leadership roles. I genuinely wanted to share the love of Christ with everyone. However, I began to have more doubts when confronted with the social issues of living in a more liberal society than Singapore. All of a sudden, the answers that I thought I knew were not enough. I kept these doubts to myself, and tried to ignore and deflect those questions as much as I could.
I met a friend in my first year. We had many good talks on spirituality as we were both mutually curious about each other’s faith, me being Protestant and them being Catholic. As a Protestant, I knew that the Bible was the ultimate authority on things, so I asked a lot of questions about the Catholic practices that didn’t seem very Biblical to me. I remember being shaken when my friend pointed to John 20:23 as the basis of confession, as I realized that maybe I didn’t know my Bible as well as I thought. We went back to study Scriptures, doctrines and even Christian history, trying to find definitive answers about the Church. I remember thinking how it seemed that the Catholic church had answers to everything. Every question that I could conceive about the faith had been asked and addressed to conclusion by the Church. There was little I could find to refute them.
I was scared. I was facing the fact that maybe there was more to the faith that I grew up with. I thought I was doing all I could to love Jesus and keep close to him, but it seemed like I was wrong.
​
I think at that point, the Holy Spirit moved something. It’s not about what I think is keeping me close to God, it’s about what Jesus wants me to do. Looking at Jesus’ own words from Scripture, I see that he desires us to be united in one Church, to love his mother and to even partake of his Body and Blood during Communion. It struck me that God is so loving and does not want his children to be lost, like I was. When Jesus left, he left behind the Church to take care of all those that want to follow him. Knowing this, I made the decision to join the Catholic Church and arranged with the local priest to start on the road to Confirmation.
​
It hasn’t been easy and it definitely hasn’t been perfect. There was opposition from my family, my old church and some of my friends when I told them of my decision. I’m aware of how wounded and attacked the Church is, both on the inside and out. Sometimes, I feel a little helpless in the face of all these struggles. But then I look at Jesus hanging on the cross, giving his life in love; I remember that we are interceded for by Mother Mary and the whole heavenly host; I find strength in walking with my brothers and sisters in community. As I look back on my life, I see that Jesus has been drawing me towards him this whole time. It is this call that led me back home to the Church, and I desire to answer this call for the rest of my life